


Mouths of Babes

by vitaminanime



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Babies, Babysitting, Banter, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Feeding, Fluff, Foreshadowing, Hair Brushing, Inappropriate Humor, Menstruation, Space Battles, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23024170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitaminanime/pseuds/vitaminanime
Summary: Years before Din Djarin was of any consequence, Anakin and Ahsoka escorted Baby Yoda to safety.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 71





	Mouths of Babes

"Aaw! It's a baby of Yoda's species!" Squealed Ahsoka as she lifted the baby out of the bassinet. "He's so CUUUTE!"  
"Wait, so that tiny green scrap of womp rat is supposed to be the same age as me? I'm not buying it." Said Anakin.  
"Species age differently." Said Ahsoka. "Isn't he adorable?"  
"If you close your eyes." Said Anakin.  
"Don't listen to a word mean old Skyguy says. You are so cuuute and I will guard you with my life!" Squealed Ahsoka. The baby cooed.  
"What does it eat? It it even vacc-tube trained?" Said Anakin.  
"I don't know and I don't care. We are going to bring you back safely and in one piece to your mommy and daddy if it's the last thing I ever do." Said Ahsoka to the baby. The baby cooed.  
"Gross! It's drooling all over you." Said Anakin.  
"It's all right, babies drool." Said Ahsoka. She wiped away the drool with the collar of the baby's much-too big robe. "Let's go."  
"Fine. Let's get this mission over with fast. I'm not babysitting." Said Anakin.

They turned to leave only to find Separatist droids open fire on them. Anakin and Ahsoka ignited their lightsabers and engaged the droids.

Ahsoka held onto the baby with one arm and fought the droids with the other.

"I'm getting good at this!" She said as she backflipped, decapitated two droids in a single blow, and shielded the baby at the same time.

"Don't get too comfortable." Said Anakin as he deflected droid blaster fire.

"I think I will get too comfortable." Said Ahsoka as she destroyed more droids and shielded the baby from blaster fire. "We were under orders to bring him back safely and I will follow through with it to the end!"

They fought droids all the way out of the stronghold and back to their spacecraft.

"That was close." Said Anakin.

"And I did better than you give me credit for, considering I had a baby in one hand and a lightsaber in the other." Said Ahsoka. She hoisted Baby Yoda further up her hip.

"Wait, why is he sucking on your other lightsaber?" Said Anakin.  
"He's getting a tooth." Said Ahsoka.

"It could be dangerous." Said Anakin.

"And having a baby in a war zone isn't." She took her lightsaber from the baby and re-attached it to her belt.

"Eww! It's still covered in little green womp rat slobber." Said Anakin.

"I have disinfecting wipes." Said Ahsoka. They vaulted into the spacecraft.

Ahsoka held the baby on her lap as they made their exit from the atmosphere.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Screamed the baby as they accelerated.

"Could you get it to shut up?" Said Anakin.

"His big ol' ears must have popped." Ahsoka scratched the screaming baby between the ears. "How about we see if there's a bottle for you in the rations?" She pulled out the box of rations under the seat and opened it up to see if there was any formula and baby bottles.

"I was thinking of something more along the lines of a tranquilizer." Said Anakin. The baby screamed and Anakin gritted his teeth.

"Auntie Ahsoka won't let mean old Skyguy give you any sleepy-sleep pills." Ahsoka rummaged through the ration box and found some powdered blue milk. "Let's see what Auntie Ahsoka can do for you." She then found a bottle of distilled water and a baby's bottle in the bottom of the ration box. She mixed them together and offered them to the baby.

"That's much better." Said Ahsoka as the little green baby suckled hungrily on the bottle.

"Finally! Some quiet." Said Anakin, right as the baby finished the bottle. Ahsoka then draped a paper napkin over her shoulder and began to burp the baby.

"What are you doing now?" Said Anakin.

"I'm burping him." Said Ahsoka.

"You're what?" Said Anakin.

"Burping him. You heard right." Said Ahsoka. "If you don't burp babies after you feed them, they'll get colic and then they'll be REALLY fussy."

"So you're encouraging Yoda Junior to do the deed, yet if you burp at a state dinner even by accident suddenly all chaos breaks loose." Said Anakin.

"Basically." Said Ahsoka. She put away the paper napkin and rations and adjusted the baby so he was comfortable on her lap as they cruised through space.

Meanwhile, the Senate was in session.

The Senate had been called to order. Padme took a tablet and pressed it to her lower abdomen.  
"Are you all right, Senator Amidala?" Said Bail Organa.  
"I'll be fine." Padme insisted. She groaned and bent forward.  
"You don't look fine. You look a bit pale." Said Bail.  
"I'm fine." Padme insisted.  
Padme could scarcely concentrate as the senate meeting progressed as the cramping got worse and worse.  
"You can't keep going like this." Bail then escorted Padme to the exit. "Senator Amidala has fallen ill and has left the building." He announced and then shut the door behind them.  
"Senator Organa, the fact of the matter is, I'm not ill at all." Padme whispered what was wrong with her to him.  
"I understand." He said.

-  
"Separatists! Dead ahead! Ahsoka screamed and pointed. Baby Yoda woke up and started crying.

Anakin opened fire on Separatist ships. Baby Yoda squealed as Ahsoka held him tighter.  
"That probably meant 'squishing me you are. Breathe I cannot.'" Said Anakin as he did a barrel roll.  
Baby Yoda screamed and Ahsoka held him tighter with one hand and entered coordinates with the other.  
"That probably meant "go of me let. Squishing me you are." Said Anakin.

Anakin did an aileron roll and gunned down more enemy ships. Baby Yoda grunted.  
"It's all right, little buddy. It will all be over soon." Said Ahsoka. Anakin did a double barrel roll. "You're scaring him!" Said Ahsoka.  
"It wasn't my idea to bring along a screaming, crying, drooling, leaking bundle of womp rat." Said Anakin.  
"Don't listen to a word mean old nasty Skyguy has to say. Auntie Ahsoka is here for you." Said Ahsoka as she scratched Baby Yoda between the ears. "It's not about it being anyone's idea to bring the baby with us, he'd been kidnapped and it was our duty to rescue him."

Anakin gunned down a squadron of Separatist ships, one of which must have been full of explosives because it went 

"BOOOOOOOM!"

Anakin did one barrel roll right after the other to dodge the fallout. Ahsoka held onto the baby as tightly as they could. The baby screamed.

"AUNTIE AHSOKA NOW KNOWS WHY AMUSEMENT PARKS HAVE 'YOU MUST BE AT LEAST THIS TALL TO RIDE' SIGNS!"

They arrived on Coruscant with only minimal damage to the landing gear. Baby Yoda was crying. He then spit up all over Ahsoka.  
"Would you get that green bundle of womp rat to shut up?" Said Anakin.  
"Shhhh. We had a bumpy landing and you flew like a maniac. No wonder he's fussy." Said Ahsoka as she wiped up spit-up. "And he's wet." She then set Baby Yoda down on top of a box of cargo and set about changing him. She wrapped his little green bum up in a spare bandanna she happened to have. "Much better!" Said Ahsoka. She then kissed Baby Yoda's little green three-toed feet. Baby Yoda cooed.  
"Gross!" Anakin gagged and almost threw up. "How can you do that with a straight face? Why can't the darn creature learn to use the vacc-tube like a normal people?" Said Anakin.  
"All in due time. Babies need to be changed." Said Ahsoka as she lifted Baby Yoda up and bounced him gently.  
"And you can just say that with a straight face? Gross!" Said Anakin.

"But keeping a piss jug on long flights, THAT isn't." Said Ahsoka.  
"Hey, sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do." Said Anakin.  
"Of course. Everyone's gotta do what they've gotta to, but not emptying it between uses? Not cleaning it between uses? I can't even." Said Ahsoka.  
"You're just jealous because female equipment isn't designed for speedy deployment." Said Anakin.  
Ahsoka blushed so hard her cheeks hurt. "I could never once admit I'm wrong."

The baby laughed and then fell asleep.

"Well, what are we supposed to do next?" Said Ahsoka. "I finally got the baby to go to sleep, now I guess we're supposed to await orders."  
"You know, that little green womp rat almost looks sweet when he's asleep." Said Anakin.  
"He always looks sweet." Said Ahsoka.  
"Wait-Padme!" Anakin called as he noticed Padme about to board a transport.  
"Has the senate meeting been adjourned early?" He called as he ran up with Ahsoka and Baby Yoda in tow.  
"No, the Senate meeting has NOT been adjourned early." Snarled Padme. "It HAD to be while we were discussing an important bill that it felt like I had been stabbed in the lower abdomen and I bled all over the seats." Growled Padme.  
"No need to get angry." Said Anakin.  
"Yes, there is need to get angry! Everything hurts and you are keeping me from my bed, dressing gown, and hot water bottle!" Growled Padme.  
"And now you're crying?" Said Anakin.  
"You'd cry a lot too if blood came out your lightsaber once a month!" Padme shouted at him as she got into  
the transport and slammed the door.  
"What is her problem? It's always right around this time of the month that she becomes very unlike herself." Said Anakin.  
"She's a female of her species. You know what that means?" Said Ahsoka. She explained to Anakin.  
"Gross!" Said Anakin.  
"Don't tell me you didn't know about menstruation." Said Ahsoka.  
"I mean I knew about it in passing, but I always thought it was something that happened to other people." Said Anakin.  
"Of course it's something that happens to other people! It happens to females of various species, including humans, and that means it happens to Padme. Geez, Skyguy, you are so dense that if you were marooned on the Moon of Endor and Ewoks found you and somehow managed to crack your thick skull open, they wouldn't find enough brain to spread on a cracker." Said Ahsoka. .  
"But what am I supposed to DO?" Lamented Anakin.

"Get her a box of her favorite sweets and tell her she's pretty." Said Ahsoka.

"I can't be doing that now, right when we're so close." Said Anakin.  
"How about this." Said Ahsoka. "I'll follow through with the baby, you go and make Padme's day."

-

Padme lay on her bed in utter dejection. She was in her dressing gown, hair undone and a mess, all her makeup removed, and hot water bottle pressed to her abdomen. She dug her fingers into the hot water bottle's sides, as if somehow that would make the pain go away.

"Padme! I brought you something." Said Anakin as he entered her room, holding a pink box.  
Padme turned her head. "Huh?"  
Anakin stood beside her bed. "I saw you were all out of sorts earlier so I thought this might cheer you up." He handed the box to her. Her face lit up when she opened the box.  
"My favorite!" She exclaimed when she beheld the intricately made petit fours. She propped herself up on her elbows, sat up in bed, selected one of the petit fours, and crammed it in her mouth.  
"Do you like it?" Said Anakin.  
"Mmmmm"  
"I'll take that as a yes." Said Anakin as she took another and then another with great relish.  
"How did you know these would be just what I was craving?" Said Padme as she inelegantly took another. "I don't want to get fat but these are just so perfect!" And she took another one.

"I didn't know, but I guess I just know you really well." Said Anakin.  
"Ani, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier." Said Padme as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She reached for a now-room temperature cup of tea on her nightstand and took a sip.  
"It's ok. When you're angry is when you're most pretty." Said Anakin.  
Padme laughed so hard that tea sprayed everywhere. "I always did appreciate your honesty." She said. She then realized that the hot water bottle had fallen to the side. "I forgot it was my time of the month."  
"Do you want me to refill that?" Said Anakin.  
"Please." Said Padme as she handed him the hot water bottle. Anakin then left and returned momentarily with it refilled with hot water.  
"I'm sorry you had to see me such a hot mess." Said Padme as she swung her legs over the side of her bed.  
"I'm good at fixing things." Said Anakin as he took her hairbrush off her bureau. He sat down beside her and handed her the hot water bottle. She held the hot water bottle to her stomach and set the box of petit fours on her lap. Anakin sat down beside her and began to brush her hair.

She bit into another petit four. "Ani, you're the best! It's like I'm dreaming." Said Padme. 

"If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up." Said Anakin.

-  
Ahsoka headed through the Jedi temple with the baby in her arms. She walked through the hall where the younglings were training. Many stopped what they were doing and turned to look at the child as she went by.

"Aaw! It's a baby Yoda!" Was a recurring chorus from the Younglings as Ahsoka and the baby of Yoda's species passed by.

"Can we keep him?" Said a Youngling.

"He's too little and has had a long day." Said Ahsoka as she exited the younglings' training hall.

She opened the door to one of the meeting rooms where they'd been briefed to report to. She opened the door to find Yoda sitting in the center of the room. Ahsoka held her breath as she approached Yoda handed the baby to him. 

"Long has it been, since a child of my own kind, last I saw." Said Yoda as he beheld the baby.

"I would imagine, considering your species'...longevity." Said Ahsoka.

"Longer still has it been, since one, I was!" Said Yoda. "Hard to believe it may seem, but true it is."

"I have no reason to doubt you." Said Ahsoka.

"Taken good care of him, you have." Said Yoda.

"Easier said than done, especially with Anakin complaining the whole time, but the little green nugget is just so cute and sweet I would take a blaster shot for him. I almost did, come to think of it." Said Ahsoka. "He does what all babies do but he'll learn."

"A way with children, you have, young padawan." Said Yoda.

Baby Yoda then attempted to suck on the handle of Yoda's cane. Yoda curtly put it out of the baby's reach. "Into mischief already, we are getting, hmm?"

The baby squeaked and sucked his thumb.

"Many great things coming for you I see, child of my own kind. A great student you shall be, but also a great teacher you shall be too. Touch the lives of many, you will. Many lessons, you will teach them. Lessons they didn't know they could learn, even to those you are older than and are fated to outlive." Said Yoda, addressing the baby.

Ahsoka thought Yoda was talking about her, but Yoda was having visions of someone else entirely. A Mandalorian bounty hunter. A long line of Mandalorian bounty hunters, to be exact.

"Are his kinfolk coming for him?" Said Ahsoka.

"Made, arrangements have been." Said Yoda.

Ahsoka knelt down and pinched the baby's round green cheeks.

"Auntie Ahsoka is going to miss you so much!" She said in a baby talk voice. The baby cooed and flashed a toothy smile at her as she scratched the baby's ears. "Even if you don't remember Auntie Ahsoka, Auntie Ahsoka is going to remember you!" She kissed the top of the baby's little green head, and then turned and left, holding her breath to keep from crying.


End file.
